The upcoming JOFA conference invites people to Join the Conversation. And it’s an important time to do just that. In some ways, we are in an unprecedented time of opportunity for Orthodox women, and by extension, for Orthodox men. We can see partnership minyanim starting up around the world, and with them, true chances for women to participate equally in communal tefilla, and we see women rising to new heights in ritual, rabbinic and communal leadership. We are raising daughters and sons who see opportunities for girls and women where they never existed and we have started to explore deeply personal topics, like sexuality and sexual orientation, previously hidden behind closed doors. Yet, with these developments, we have to continue to talk to one another about what these developments mean in terms of our relationship with the larger community and with ourselves, and we have to talk about who we have included and who we have excluded through these changes.
I myself always wonder whether more doors have been opened than closed through JOFA’s embrace of changes like partnership minyanim and women in rabbinic roles. Have we made Orthodox feminism more inclusive or exclusive? I wonder what the value is of change that does not fully extend into the suburbs and smaller communities and I wonder whether we are getting our message out if with each development, we run the risk that fewer people will be willing to listen. Do we stop moving so that others can catch up or in doing so, will we lose those who desperately need to keep moving? How often do we need to check the pulse of the larger Orthodox community when that community seems to move increasingly to the right with every passing day? Yet, if we don’t check that pulse and question whether we are in time, don’t we chance separating from that community altogether.
Conversation brings with it a dynamic, exciting energy and Orthodox feminism needs that energy. We need a conversation between men and women, between older and younger thinkers, between those who embrace the changes and those who reject them. We need to identify the topics that are in need of conversation – the personal and the communal and all those in between, and we need to reach deep down within ourselves to find the words that we must exchange. We each need to Join the Conversation and I look forward to the opportunity to do so.
Opening Doors or Closing Doors?
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I am not sure that those who reject the changes are going to be inviting to join a conversation. I dont want to be negative, but from experience, those people just say no with no reason and why would they come? I have listened to people discuss the fact that the world is “black and white” and I am pretty sure the world is a bunch of grayness!
In terms of waiting for progress, our actions may wait for approval and for the rest of Orthodoxy but our thoughts will continue to be progressive and they will never be able to stop long enough. I think that this conversation may be good for those people who are willing to let their thoughts change along with the times— they may not be able to do any actions, but at least their thoughts can be dynamic as opposed to static.
Comment by Tali on February 3, 2010 5:59 PM
Usually when people say no it is for a reason, though perhaps not always a very defensible or rational reason. We don’t have to answer every critic, but there are thoughtful critics out there and they should be engaged whenever possible. First of all, it helps to hear criticism because it can help us think more carefully about our own positions, clarify them and strengthen our rationale. There may be flaws in our own reasoning and criticism helps us address those and be better for it. Figuring out the real concern behind the criticism can also help us bridge differences, find common ground even if we choose to agree to disagree. But sometimes the criticism also points out flaws in our own reasoning, that cannot be easily resolved — it may be that we advocated for something that may not be justifiable in halacha, even though we really wanted it. There are conflicts of values and the resolution doesn’t always have to go they way we thought we wanted it to.
I don’t advocate cow-towing to every Rabbi or group that issues a press release. But listening to orthodox leaders, especially those that are willing to engage in discussion, and especially our friends, when they are critical of certain positions, advocacy or actions is important if we really believe that we are all responsible for one another and that tochacha has a place in Jewish communal life.
Comment by Michael Rogovin on February 17, 2010 5:39 PM
One of the hardest concepts to accept is that there will always be a percentage of the population who will remain resistence to change no matter how cogent and persuasive the arguments. There are those who are content with the status quo, some who agree with you but fear the “Slippery Slope”, others who fear any change, and people who simply disagree with your premise and rational. But, I am an optimist. I believe that with the proper approach one can at least gain understanding, and respect for the changes that we seek.
My conversations usually go like this:
“I understand that we have different perspectives. Please hear me out, come to a class, learn with me, try this experience etc.(depending on the specific issue) so you can at least understand my issues and my goals. I know that to you I might sound like a revolutionist who wants to throw out the Orthodox baby with the hot water. Not so, I believe in Halacha.
I, and by extension, the people who look to JOFA for inspiration,are seeking what every commited Jew seeks.
that is to deepen our relationship to Hashem, to streghten our spirituality, to be a role model for our children,grandsons and grandaughter, and to raise the level Jewish life of our families and communities. ”
Fair or not, this usually diffuses the “feminist” boogaboo and turns the arguement from “What do you women want” to an understanding and real sense fo respect for sincere religious strivings. Sometimes, people are motivated to change and sometimes not , but at least , in most cases, they have changed their perspectives from derision, disbelief, and or indifference to respect. If they resoect you, they will listen to you, if they listen to you they will hear you, and maybe, eventually they will agree with you. Not everyone, but enough people.
Sorry, this is so long
Comment by Judie on February 18, 2010 12:19 PM
I agree with the above to a point. I do think that much of the consternation by those who are adamant in opposing things like partnership minyanim and Rabbaot is the question of motivating values, rather than the halacha (though the latter is important too). There are many reasons for this and it would make for a very long post to analyze it properly and fairly.
But I also think that many in the JOFA community are either ignoring or dismissing the objections of those who have been at the forefront of orthodox feminism for years – decades before JOFA was even formed. When women’s tefilla groups started, those Rabbis who ultimately endorsed and advised did not do so without extensive consultation with respected poskim who, while they personally opposed the innovations, did give some level of approval for the groups to go forward within certain parameters. That does not appear to be the case today. While Rabbis Berman, Riskin and others have been open to the conversation, they opposed application l’maaseh, and I do not believe that it is because they are fearful and looking over their right shoulder. They have serious halachic qualms about these particular innovations. These supporters of orthodox feminism should not be dismissed so quickly in favor of a daat yachid, however knowledgeable he is. That does not mean that the conversation should not continue, but the integrity of the system may be at stake and I find it somewhat distressing that JOFA is so quick to endorse and advocate that which many of its leading halachic supporters oppose.
Comment by Michael Rogovin on February 21, 2010 10:23 AM