That’s the opening line I used with the kallah teachers who came in for a 3.5 day training session “Demystifying Sex and Teaching Halakah.” Why? Because in my experience of treating dozens of Orthodox women, it has become clear to me that, more often than not, Orthodox women do not have the opportunity to discuss sex and their concerns with almost anyone. And in many cases they hope that their Kallah Teacher will be able to make things clear, make them feel less awkward and isolated, and answer the myriad of questions that have grown during the months preceding marriage. And so, whether or not the kallah teachers saw themselves as sex educators when they signed up to be kallah teachers, that’s the position they are in…. and that’s the position they need to fill.

So… “tag you’re it.”

What do we try to accomplish during the days that they are with us?
We hope that they will leave…
> Understanding that there is a much broader range of halachic responses than they might have initially thought.
> Having peeled away many of the halachic layers and with a much clearer understanding of what issues are deoraita, d’rabanan, minhag or “just nonsense.”
> Having a much broader understanding of what a really good sex life can look like and being able to talk comfortably and openly about it.
> Separating their own personal issues, concerns and biases from what the facts are and able to handle a much broader range of sexual concerns than they could before attending.
> Being equipped to pick up subtle problems and refer them appropriately.

That’s a lot to ask. And we push the women hard while they are with us. They were in class from 8:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. – with short breaks. They learned, they argued, they “shared,” they gasped and they cried. But I think almost everyone would say that they left the workshop with a new level of self awareness than when they came.

Rabbi Dov Linzer recently wrote “This is the second cadre of teachers we have taught, and we now have a wonderful community of 40 kallah teachers who can turn to each other and their instructors from this program for advice, suggestions, and direction.”

Special thanks to Rabbi Dov Linzer and Rabba Sara Hurwitz who taught the bulk of halacha course. Also, thank you to Dr. Valerie Altmann, Devorah Zlochower, Dr. Michael Werner, Shoshana Bulow, Rabbi Yaakov Love, and Suri Rudoff Sugarman for teaching and for giving so freely of their time. And of course we couldn’t have done any of it without our program coordinator Pessy Katz took care of all the details!

And a special thanks to JOFA, YCT and Yeshivat Maharat who sponsored the course… and to the private funders who made it possible.

For those looking for new and rewarding ways of delving into this all-too-familiar text, a perfect choice is “A Passover Haggadah: Go Forth and Learn” by Rabbi David Silber with Rachel Furst. As founder and dean of Drisha Institute in New York, Rabbi Silber is a pioneer of high level text study for women, and this volume, based on Rabbi Silber’s classes at Drisha over the last 30 years, applies that same approach to the haggadah text. The haggadah’s co-author, Rachel Furst has both studied and taught at Drisha and is also well-known to the JOFA community as she has contributed to past JOFA Journals. She now teaches Talmud and rabbinic literature in Jerusalem, including at Matan, while working on her doctorate in medieval Jewish history.

Readers who, because of the association with Drisha, expect this to be a “woman’s haggadah” (such as Joel Wolowelsky’s excellent “Women at the Seder,” published in 2005, which included halakhic discussions especially pertinent to women and draws on female scholars in many of its commentaries) may be initially disappointed. The focus of this haggadah—which only came out in March and is already in its second printing— is “to uncover the dynamic possibilities of the written text and encourage and inspire additional alternative readings,” an approach that is enlightening to both men and women.

This elegant, beautifully produced paperback volume contains the Hebrew text of the haggadah with English translation and extensive commentary, as well as eight essays on the haggadah and related biblical and rabbinic texts, exploring themes of the seder and the narrative of Yetziat Mitzrayim. Among the essay titles are “Arami Oved Avi: The Core Text of the Haggadah”; “Exodus: An Individual and Collective Coming of Age”; Elu Eser Makkot: Rereading the Plagues”; “Lot and the Destruction of Sodom: A Prefiguring of Exodus”; and “Creation Themes in the Exodus Story”.

Reading Rabbi Silber’s essays, we are in the presence of a master teacher who puts Torah study at the heart of the seder. Through close and sensitive reading, using an assortment of literary and linguistic strategies and drawing on parallels to passages, phrases and words not only within humash but throughout the Bible, we are reminded of things we have learned in the past in our studies of the haggadah and of Tanakh. But somehow what we are now reading manages to take us further, leads to more insights and stimulates our own associations. Using this haggadah we are truly engaging in Midrash, as indeed we are instructed to do at the seder.

As one example, the authors juxtapose the dehumanizing nature of the hard labor suffered by the Israelites in Egypt with the building of the mishkan at the end of Sh’mot. In contrast to the forced and purposeless servitude in Egypt – termed avodah – the building of the mishkan was termed melakhah: creative, purposeful and voluntary, as Bnei Yisra’el contributed the material, time and effort of their own free will in the service of God.

In discussing the ten plagues, Rabbi Silber closely analyzes the text itself. While drawing on passages in the books of Samuel and Chronicles to highlight important lessons of this central part of the Exodus narrative, he explores the different possible groupings of plagues and the implications of the different groupings, and shows how the plagues can be seen as a counterpoint to Creation, as an “undoing” of Creation as described at the beginning of Genesis.

Of particular interest to many of our readers will be a two-page essay on the role of women in the Exodus story, exploring the line in Tractate Pesahim: “Af hen hayu be’oto ha’nes”– they too were involved in the miracle. The essay highlights the active role played by women in the process of redemption, but broadens the discussion to suggest that the heroism of the women of the Exodus (the midwives, Yocheved and Miriam, indeed Pharaoh’s daughter as well) follows the traditional female model of birthing and nursing, in contrast to the more “unconventional” heroism of the women in the Deborah story in Judges – both Deborah herself and Yael. Yet the story of the Exodus actually ends with the “unconventional” act of Miriam and the other women leading the whole of B’nei Yisrael in song after the crossing of Yam Suf.

The above are just a few of the nuggets gleaned in perusing the haggadah. The engaging and clearly written essays and commentary highlight the richness of the haggadah text. Both erudite and accessible, this volume will make a wonderful addition to every Pesach seder.
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Pictures are another way of telling the Passover story, and for readers who want to add to their repertoire of illustrated haggadot, two new volumes are highly recommended for the quality of their editions available at reasonable prices so that they can be used at the seder table. Both connect us, in a meaningful way, with the long tradition of illustrated haggadot of the past.

The Washington Haggadah manuscript, written and illustrated in Germany by the gifted and prolific illuminator and scribe, Joel Ben Simeon in 1478, has been in the collection of the Library of Congress in Washington since 1916. This year it was reproduced in a fine popular facsimile edition with a full translation and illuminating, detailed-filled essays by David Stern and Katrin Kogman-Appel on the haggadah, its fascinating creator, the history of the manuscript through the centuries and an analysis of its illustrations – all in a volume that can be used easily at the table.

The name of Polish-Jewish artist Arthur Szyk will be familiar to many readers who know of his haggadah illustrations through some of the later inferior printings done since the haggadah first appeared in a limited edition in London in 1940. These later editions did not do justice to the richness and artistry of this work, which one early reviewer called “worthy to be placed among the most beautiful books the hand of man has produced.” This new edition, available in both hardback and paperback, reproduces with great clarity the remarkable illustrations and calligraphy from the original artwork done by Szyk himself in the 1930s, which focuses on Jewish resistance to tyranny, and is accompanied by a new English translation and commentaries both on the seder rituals and on the illuminations by Byron L. Sherwin and Irvin Ungar.

A Passover Haggadah: Go Forth and Learn by Rabbi David Silver with Rachel Furst, Jewish Publication Society, Philadelphia, 2011 $18 (paper)

The Washington Haggadah of Joel Ben Simeon. Translation by David Stern : Introductions by David Stern and Katrin Kogman-Appel, The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press and The Library of Congress. 2011 $39.95

The Szyk Haggadah : Commentary by Byron L. Sherwin and Irvin Ungar. A Historicana Book, Abrams. New York 2011 $40 (hardcover); $16.95 (paper)