At the second JOFA conference I gave the closing speech. It began with “Six weeks ago I a gave birth to a daughter. She came into a world so very different from the one I came into.” And she did. A few weeks ago, that daughter celebrated her bat mitzvah. The bat mitzvah she celebrated was so very different from the one I did, 36 years ago. She leined the parsha and the haftorah at a partnership minyan. I had an aliya. She wore a tallit. She completed seder nezikim and made a siyyum.   My “bat mitzvah” was a picnic lunch with three friends.

Actually, her bat mitzvah looked an awful lot like my brothers’ bar mitzvahs.

What a different world we inhabit today. And how lucky she is – to make her way in this “whole new world” of incredible opportunity for girls and women.   Of course, she and her peers will still have their own challenges ahead of them.  I often wonder how she will react when she hits her own  “brick walls,” but something tells me that she will be okay. We’ve given these girls the strength and confidence and learning they need. We’ve given them the tools to make their own way through the complicated labyrinth we call Orthodox Judaism. They’ll create their own pathways… and then perhaps we’ll be the ones to follow.

It is hard to believe that 3 years have passed already since the last JOFA conference, into which I poured so much of my heart, soul and time (as co-Chair of Programming).  I am excited to join the ranks of the JOFA faithful again in Lerner Hall.  I need the jolt of energy and personal connection that only the Conference can bring.  While we have come so far in all four areas the Conference seeks to explore, so much has remained the same, or worse, moved backwards.  The Conference always provides me with a lift and a spark of inspiration that sends me charging into battle again. 

Since the last Conference, I have joined the board of JOFA and put my first two children into mainstream Orthodox Day School.  Both have been exciting, as well as frustrating endeavors.  To join the ranks of JOFA leadership has been an honor that has allowed me to interact with the greats of Orthodox Feminist Leadership.  I was raised in the trenches of this movement and I feel proud to take on these issues in my own right.   Being a board member has given me the opportunity to voice my concerns and act on them in a real and fundamental way.   It has also provided a window into the slow-moving, often gruelingly political, process that fostering change can be.   

My inauguration into the day school community has been fairly, almost surprisingly, uneventful.  My children have enjoyed smooth transitions, high-quality teachers and minimal drama, yet I find myself with my guard constantly up.   The education of my children has been the issue that has kept me on the ramparts of the Orthodox Feminist movement all these years (as opposed to chucking it all in favor of a more pluralist or denominationally neutral sphere).  I firmly believe that if we raise our children to think more broadly about Judaism, Orthodoxy, gender roles and leadership, many of the issues we struggle  with these days will fade away and a whole new norm will be conceived.  My children are young, so there have been minimal opportunities to offend, and in truth, our school does handle many issues with deft sensitivity.  That being said, there are indications that I cannot let down my guard.  I cannot wait till the issues present themselves.  I need to use these early years to watch and learn what the hashkafa (philosophy) of the school really is and not just what they say it is.   

So, I eagerly await this conference.  I am excited to hear about glass-ceilings being challenged and broken, innovative approaches to learning and age-old texts, new roles being conceived and exhibited.  I look forward to the conversation and the khizuk that comes from rubbing elbows with like-minded people.  I sincerely hope you will join me.

My main take-away messages from the four JOFA conferences I have attended are:

1. The excitement and energy of people grappling with issues and questions that they normally don’t deal with

2. The depth and breadth of knowledge that’s available

3. The new people you meet and fantastic conversations you enjoy and can eavesdrop on

4. The common sense that each person no longer feels alone

So, my job as Conference Chair is to keep this dynamic spirit going while making sure that we not only welcome our regular attendees but that  we continue to add new people — young, old, female, male, more and less observant — and that everyone  feels empowered and excited  to join  the conversation!

So, what are we talking about? How do we, both as individuals and as a community, increase the participation of women in ritual and life cycle events?  What rituals have traditionally been male oriented but halakhically can be open to women?   Does opening ritual to women weaken the affiliation of the core? Does inclusion strengthen the community? If so, how?  Should women create their own rituals? How do you do it?  What has been your most meaningful ritual or life cycle moment?

What does social justice mean to an Orthodox Jew?  Is it a religious value in our community? If so, has it been overshadowed by attention to details of ritual?  Should we be concerned about issues like human trafficking?  Do inhumane animal care practices matter to our concept of kashrut? Will a social justice perspective help identify new partners and rationales to create solutions for agunot?

What will be the future of women’s leadership in Orthodoxy?  Is women’s halakhic leadership a viable model? How can it be fostered? What will it mean for the community?  How do we make sure that communal non-Rabbinic leadership positions are afforded the same respect and compensation as Rabbis? How do we balance advances in learning with leadership?  Should your daughter ‘s dreams be different than your son’s?

Do religion, halachah and spirituality go hand in hand? Why do our Modern Orthodox lives often seem very busy yet spiritually lacking?  How do we find and carve out space to communicate to God more regularly?  How do we make tefillah (more) meaningful? How does spirituality in a 21^st C context differ from previous generations? How do you express your own spirituality?

These are some of the issues I think about and topics we plan to talk about at the conference.  But, don’t wait for the conference to join the conversation.  Ask your own questions in this space or help answer some of mine.

Let’s get the conversation started!

Audrey Axelrod Trachtman